Lessons

I feel too far away. And I feel on the outside of this. I didn't get to talk to him directly, and tell him I love him. I don't know why, but I needed to have my voice in his ear expressing love. More for me perhaps, then even for him. I know that things will work themselves out and eventually I'll hear that lovely voice on the phone again. I find myself in the odd moment with tears on my cheeks, waiting. I have to wait, till the wounded are ready let others in. I hate being an other, I wish love were like a ticket. You love enough and you have the right to know the inner workings, the right to whisper encouragement. Now I'm trying not to be selfish and pry my way in. I know he's being looked after, I know that God is there. I just wish I was too. Maybe this is the other part of my first love lesson. Maybe I can be better from this too. Maybe we both can.