Wednesday, April 9, 2008

My happy

It's slightly inexplicable, but I think I got my happy back.

At least I'm on my way there. I have been very unhappy (unlike any unhappy I've known before). I wasn't depressed, but sincerely grouchy, dissatisfied, hard and unhappy. This since just after Christmas. That's when I was told that I'd have to postpone my nursing rotation another semester. It's was like one incredible punch to the stomach, and my heart said no more, we won't be putting anymore happy on the shelf. All sold out here, try next door!
I knew I wasn't happy, but in all honesty I couldn't find my way out. So I just turned into a craven bitch. It didn't help that I was trying rather successfully to rid myself of my addictions. Unhappy, no helps = bad situation! So my exercise turned more regular and that kept me from punching unsuspecting new yorkers in the face. But my poor family, how they bore the brunt.
Then one day I realized I didn't like the world I had created. I hated the person that I was being. Something had to change! And right then the little happy makers stopped picketing and went back to work. It's been a slow process.
I'm not up to max. happy output yet, but I'm smiling more. People are actually talking to me since I lost my ever present scowl. I'm laughing more. My parents are considerably less tense and more loving, because hellooo, I'm less tense and more loving. So I'm on my way to happy, and that's a lot better than where I've been.

Hell-o happy, where've
you been all my life!!

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