My legs are like jelly...again!

Second day of jogging: the high of accomplishment is still present and the pain is far less. Just regular soreness in large leg muscle groups. Yeah!

Saw the Acting Company's rendition of The Tempest today. Excellent! They were very successful in making Shakespeare more relevant and accessible to today's audience. It was still Shakespeare, which made for some really intense code breaking. After about twenty minutes my Shakespeare classes kicked in and the code became an almost decipherable form of English. We had a really good time! Brilliant really!

Here we are again...

I find myself impatient. This is a theme of life! I am waiting to find out if I can get a seat in the nursing classes I need for this semester. The waiting is taxing. In every escaping moment I find myself wondering. I hate that!
One would think that over the last few years I would have learned something about waiting, patience and trials. And I have, but sometimes one wonders what you should ask of God and yourself in these times. I wonder, do you?
There is comfort however:
God is ever present!
Life and I will go on no matter what the outcome!
God will work this situation for my betterment!
I will learn, if not spiritually significant lessons than, critical common sense lessons!

I can only hope to one day live the courageous prayer of Sir Francis Drake:
...That I might venture on to wilder seas
Where storms will show God's mastery;
That I might lose sight of land,
And find instead the stars.
That I might ask of God that he would push back
The horizons of my hopes...

We'll see...

how forgiveness budded...

"...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
— Khaled Hosseini
The Kite Runner

heaven sagged and earth reached up...

“Emotional pain… was a school of higher learning, a place beyond the instruction of ordinary teachers. It was where heaven sagged and earth reached up, leaving a man to find meaning, reconciliation and peace all on his own.”

~Debbie Macomber

I Ran!

Wednesday I jogged almost an entire mile! This may not seem like anything to get overly excited about but it sooo is! The laps at the park are .82 tenths of a mile. I jogged a complete lap. Granted I wasn’t winning any races. But, I told my body to do it and it did! So cool. The key was not to go too fast, so that I could keep control of my breathing. I did well! I am oh, so very sore today. But tomorrow I will go out there and do it again!

Crude, but funny!

I went to Texas the first weekend in January for a wedding. It was great!
One the way to the Airport in Houston, Jess and I are mid-conversation when I read this on the bumper of a supply truck!

I explode in laughter!
I point it out to Jess and she does the same.
I told my parents about it and they laughed too!
I mean could you get any more Texas. And it's slightly clever too. Playing on the inspection stop lingo, to have their papers or whatnot ready.
Jess has since shared it with another friend of ours and she didn't laugh. So I say to you, "Laugh people!" At least a small harumph...or a smirk?

Regret

Recently I found my way back to the God I once knew.

As I age, I design a battlement around myself; my soul, my happiness. I try not to feel or give as greatly as I did when I was a naive kid. I hug less, I offer to pray with strangers less. I just stopped being the little "sunny" girl I once was. That little optimistic, faithful kid got tired of the knocks and the belittling smiles. She got tired of the disappointments and the rejections. Those looks that said, "Oh, to have such a simple faith."

I can never go back and be that kid. But I rediscovered the trust and knowledge that God is with me. The hope I once had is still tenuous. Its there, the once brave flame is not quite as bright, but is not extinguished.

I may never again be that "sunny" girl, but I can grip the God I love with both hands and be a woman who lives my "simple" faith out loud, with little care for recrimination or looks of condescension.

Hourly I remind myself that God is here, is present and at hand. Hourly I must remind myself, because I still try and protect myself even from God. Hourly I try and wrench control of my life. Hourly I worry and fume and anger seeps from my pores. So- hourly my soul chants "He hears me; He sees me; 'I am my Beloved's and He is mine.'"
I live a life with no regret. I cannot regret what makes me who I am. I cannot regret what brought me to this place of flickering faith. I will not regret.