Smaller than a mustardseed

"It's about the kind of freedom you can only know when you realize that whatever it is you're trying to do has already been done for you."
This was on an old friend's blog. It seemed to encapsulate the feelings I've had over the last few weeks.
I am humbled to realize that my faith is still so small. Smaller now that it was ten years ago. I watched this weeks episode of Home Makeover on ABC, and was so touched by the devotion of the Martinez family. What struck me even more was the family's faith, believing that dreams do come true. They truly believe the sky is the limit, that miracles do happen. I believe this too, but its been a while since I believed it for myself. I am more happy now than I have been in quite some time. But my faith is still constrained by my rational self. My prayer lately is that I will find a way back to the part of me that believes God can accomplish the amazing, in me, and in my life.
I love this quote, it seems to me to be the very crux of humanity's fear of God. That we long for God to strip us of our hard and scarred veneer. Yet, we are terrified of the cleansing. I'm scared to do battle without my armor. Hurts penetrates deeper without a good layer of cynicism and rationality. I suppose I need to learn to let God fight my battles. Let his armor, the raiment of his blood, protect me. I suppose I need to learn that I'm never going it alone. That whatever I'm trying to do has already been done for me.