No news is good news?

I think the saying "no news is good news" is BS. The waiting is what really kills you, not the answers. I seems no matter how much you pray and give things over to God, in odd moments worry and wonder stealthily attack. Waiting and worry combine to form a new kind of guerilla warfare. I lack focus and commitment to what I'm doing. When I have down time I need a distraction to keep me from dwelling. You don't even realize you've started worrying, and then you're knee deep in the thick of it.
Finally, yesterday I found out. I will have to start my clinical nursing rotation next semester, instead of this one. A seemingly insignificant mistake on my part combined with lousy timed short-staffing problems led to this outcome. I am still in the nursing program, but I am bummed.
I had been waiting, and pretending not to hope that everything would work out well, for the last week. Outwardly the pragmatist, while a part of me was hiding in a closet, lighting the candle of hope.
Maybe with practice one gets better at letting God be God. I hope so. Right now I'm tired, and I'm not quite ready to put on a happy face. I'll get there and I'll do what I need to do in the mean time. And maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to thank God for this soon.

Today...

Today there was a wreck. I was in it. An attractive, blond, Russian women driving a Lexus turned into oncoming traffic, namely me, at an intersection. No one was hurt and the damage wasn't astronomical. But she believed it was my fault. And it SOOO wasn't!! It was obvious to anyone who saw the damage to the driver's side of my car that it had been her fault. Still, she misguidedly would not hand over her insurance. She had it mind you, but would not give it to me. She had a very strong accent and didn't seem to get certain things I spoke to her. She was consumed with placing blame on me and thinking (and I quote) that I would run away. I called the police and we waited.
As the police arrived a Nosy-New-Yorker stepped off the curb and asked me who was at fault. I stated it was the other woman's and nodded toward the woman in the Lexus, who was very animatedly telling the cop her side of the story. The nosy-NYer replied, "It's always their fault." For the next few minutes the nosy-NYer stayed close to the action, and too close for my liking. She evidently didn't want to miss anything.
The policeman was having difficulty explaining to the Russian woman of the Lexus the procedures for submitting an accident report. I interjected that earlier she had called a friend of hers to translate, perhaps she should call him now. The policeman thought that was a good idea. As she went to her car to get her cell the nosy-NYer, asked the cop "How can they get driver's licenses when they don't even speak English?" He kind of shrugged and rolled his eyes. I responded blandly with, "You don't need to talk to be able to drive." The nosy-NYer turned on her heel and walked away.
There were two bonuses out of this experience. One was that, while I didn't let the woman in the Lexus bully me with her idiotic belief that the accident was my fault, I was still able to come way from the incident feeling like a decent human being. I didn't fall in to the angry trap, and I didn't feel that I had given any thing of myself away through the course of events. I felt good. Well, as good as one can when both your driver's side doors are crashed. Still not bad. Secondly and superficially, the cops were both attractive red-headed men. You know the kind, with long blond eyelashes, blue eyes and freckles. That's a definite plus!
So, while today wasn't the best, it wasn't wrecked.

My legs are like jelly...again!

Second day of jogging: the high of accomplishment is still present and the pain is far less. Just regular soreness in large leg muscle groups. Yeah!

Saw the Acting Company's rendition of The Tempest today. Excellent! They were very successful in making Shakespeare more relevant and accessible to today's audience. It was still Shakespeare, which made for some really intense code breaking. After about twenty minutes my Shakespeare classes kicked in and the code became an almost decipherable form of English. We had a really good time! Brilliant really!

Here we are again...

I find myself impatient. This is a theme of life! I am waiting to find out if I can get a seat in the nursing classes I need for this semester. The waiting is taxing. In every escaping moment I find myself wondering. I hate that!
One would think that over the last few years I would have learned something about waiting, patience and trials. And I have, but sometimes one wonders what you should ask of God and yourself in these times. I wonder, do you?
There is comfort however:
God is ever present!
Life and I will go on no matter what the outcome!
God will work this situation for my betterment!
I will learn, if not spiritually significant lessons than, critical common sense lessons!

I can only hope to one day live the courageous prayer of Sir Francis Drake:
...That I might venture on to wilder seas
Where storms will show God's mastery;
That I might lose sight of land,
And find instead the stars.
That I might ask of God that he would push back
The horizons of my hopes...

We'll see...

how forgiveness budded...

"...I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded, not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
— Khaled Hosseini
The Kite Runner

heaven sagged and earth reached up...

“Emotional pain… was a school of higher learning, a place beyond the instruction of ordinary teachers. It was where heaven sagged and earth reached up, leaving a man to find meaning, reconciliation and peace all on his own.”

~Debbie Macomber

I Ran!

Wednesday I jogged almost an entire mile! This may not seem like anything to get overly excited about but it sooo is! The laps at the park are .82 tenths of a mile. I jogged a complete lap. Granted I wasn’t winning any races. But, I told my body to do it and it did! So cool. The key was not to go too fast, so that I could keep control of my breathing. I did well! I am oh, so very sore today. But tomorrow I will go out there and do it again!

Crude, but funny!

I went to Texas the first weekend in January for a wedding. It was great!
One the way to the Airport in Houston, Jess and I are mid-conversation when I read this on the bumper of a supply truck!

I explode in laughter!
I point it out to Jess and she does the same.
I told my parents about it and they laughed too!
I mean could you get any more Texas. And it's slightly clever too. Playing on the inspection stop lingo, to have their papers or whatnot ready.
Jess has since shared it with another friend of ours and she didn't laugh. So I say to you, "Laugh people!" At least a small harumph...or a smirk?