Random

Do you ever feel like the word scramble comment verification is more like an IQ test? I'm always baffled. I get a touch nervous. How can typing recognized letters of the English alphabet be done incorrectly. And yet it happens. I think I'm developing "verify comment" anxiety.

NEWS!!

So good news, Mom got a job yesterday!! She is now a special-ed teacher for pre-k. She had her first day today! She was tuckered out by the little 3-5 year olds. The kids are an integrated mix of high functioning special ed. (like autism, mild retardation, or learning disabled) and your average little munchkins. She taught middle school before, so this is very different. Mom thinks it's refreshing, teaching them before they start to believe that they are stupid, or dumb. A lot less baggage with the little ones. She really enjoys it, and the kids really liked her today. So awesome!
I've been praying that she would want to work again. She needed to recuperate after her back surgery last summer and all the drama from her last teaching assignment. Since she finished her masters I just hoped she find direction. Thanks G!
More good news I start my clinicals next week. School has started and I've had seminar and some training, but the actual in-hospital stuff happens soon. It is so cool! I feel like a dork, but I love reading all this stuff and learning! It's just so exciting.
Probably won't get around to updating much, but will try! No promises.
Still trying to do what my hands find to do with all my might. Not always successful, sometimes the lazyness just creeps in. But better. Still pray alot about my attitude. Instead of whistling while I work, I catch myself grumbling. So I pray, and it works. Can't let a seed of bitterness take root. So... all is well.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a
life spent doing nothing. George Bernard Shaw

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I like this one from Shaw too!

I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

Recently

Next week I start my in-hospital semester in nursing (the first of four). Over the last couple of months I have realized some good things. A person can change. I am not sure I allow change in others that often. And I have trouble finding the faith to believe that change can happen in me. About a month ago I started praying. I don't actually remember what the prayer was about or how God and I ended up where we did. But I left that tête-à-tête with the thought that God can in fact move me to change. These changes are not monumental, though at times, I feel like they make all the difference.
Small things, like doing the tasks that are set before me, getting to bed earlier, being more consistent in my daily life. Struggles that I thought were just part of me, part of my nature. And while none of these previous characteristics are bad, they don’t allow me to feel like the person I know I am.
I didn’t feel bad per-se, but I feel better now. I’m also learning to stop speaking. Well to stop speaking without thinking. To just shut-up and wait. Lo and behold better responses are put forth. Maybe it’s age, or having lived, seen, and loved. Then again, I think it’s just learning to trust God again. To trust him in a way that I’m not sure I ever have. Not blindly, with the naïve hope of an idealist. Although there is some of that perspective present. Not fortified, with hardness around the hope, guarding my heart from the one who formed it. No, instead I find myself wanting to live a life that is full. Not a life that is just lived. Everyone lives their lives. What’s so special about that, where is the beauty in that? If I can live my life full of love, passion, pursuit, and joy… If I can trust God with my life, then I will live a life that is not mine at all. And that life will be full, hopeful and determinedly lived. Doing with joy all that my hand finds to do, and doing only for God. That will be a life that is a gift, to the Giver and to me.

Christian the Lion

Soon, I will catch up with my summer blogging. But for the moment, I can't seem to get up the verve to write anything of any length.
I did come across this in an email, and it was so sweet, it made me laugh.


To read more about Christian the Lion

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Batman!

I just saw my first in-cinema preview for The Dark Knight!! I got goosebumps.

I was with Nic and Krystal, we were seeing Get Smart. Which was actually pretty decent. I laughed long and hard a couple of times, and chuckled a dozen or so more.

http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/
Someone asked me once why Batman was my favorite male superhero, and my answer was the following.
a) He's just a guy. He doesn't have superpowers. He's just a guy who saw a need and filled it. And his reluctance and confliction over this choice is the essence of being human.
b) He's dark. We all have darkness within us. Its the distance and the hurdles we overcome to find our way into the light that's the beauty of humanity.

I know you say, this is Batman! Come on! But, seriously that's why I love comic book movies, the hero's are just men or women (ok sometimes with superpowers), and the battles are universal. We all fight against evil, either in ourselves or in our world; or we let it take over. Granted real life is not generally as black and white as heroes and villains, but the fight is real. You are either on one side or the other; in little decisions, in big decisions, all day long.

Tradition

It's tradition now, that everytime I stay with Nic and Krystal we make Pancakes. These are the homemade kind. They are Martha Stewart's Best Buttermilk Pancakes.
This visit they were kind enough to let me stay in their new apartment even though most of their belongings were still in Arkansas. In fact we cooked all week without the help of a zester, a mixer, a broom, a mallet (for tenderizing) or more than one cutting board. And it was great. We ate like kings all week!
I love when I stay with Nic and Krystal! This time was even more special for two reasons. One: Krystal is finished with residency and has yet to start at her new practice, so I got to see her all day, all the time! Two: They are in Texas!
Krystal and Nic are both laid back, which as a house guest is really relaxing to be around. Last year I nearly ruined their dining room table with nail polish remover and even though I did fix it, they were totally unfazed. I mean I'm a klutz, so when I visit others it sometimes hard not to break things. I was at my sisters and broke one of her bowls the second morning I was there. It's some kind of disorder I think.
So back to the pancakes. We are whipping up the batch when things start to hit the fan. We are making the cakes when I just got up (not early, but I did just get up.) Which any klutzy person will tell you is your peak time for mishaps, that or when you are really tired, or angry, or aren't a peak focus capability.
Anyhoo, the bag of sugar we need is right next to me on top of the refrigerator. So I grab it and drop the bag on the floor. And sugar spills everywhere! And Krystal and I just look at each other. I then say, "I really wish you had a broom." And Krystal breaks out into hysterics, and I do to, seeing as my left foot is almost buried in sugar and there is no broom in the house. Practical thinker that Dr. Castle is she and I take a couple of paper towels and wipe all the sugar to the other side of the kitchen. Nic has said he will go get a broom after breakfast. We continue to make the cakes. Krystal is breaking the last two eggs into a small bowl to whisk. The first is fine, but the second wreaks after she breaks it into the bowl. The egg is rotten! Foiled again. So that's it, we have to go to the store. We need a broom and eggs. Mid pancake construction we run to the store.
Eventually the pancakes are made and eaten with gusto. I did smoke up the apartment a little, but that's to be expected when working on stove tops you are not familiar with, right!? Still we had some great pancakes, great fellowship, and a lot of laughs! What a great tradition: Pancakes and Jeopardy with the Castle's.

Run away!

Today at Jeni's we were gardening in the front yard. As I was watering the newly planted zinnias a tall and attractive man asked me if his dog could have a drink from the water hose. Sure I said. He was cute, tall and we were talking about his ten month old golden- life was sweet. Jen came around the house and saw that we were both fumbling with the hose trying to get the golden to drink. The guy started a bit when he saw Jen, but was still nice. Then Jen said she'd run inside and get a bowl. When she came back out she said "we" (her and Patrick) have a lab out back and started talking about their dogs. He let the dog drink for a minute then started saying thanks and quickly pulling away. Jen and I looked at each other confusedly. He stood at the end of his dog's tether impatiently, not making eye contact like before. As soon as the pooch's thirst was slaked he turned and walked speedily away. I put my head down and started watering again wondering what I did to turn him off. Jen came back out and said that she was sorry that she had come around and scared him off. Why would Jen scare him off I thought? I mean little Jen, scare off my big good looking dog walker, come on. We reviewed what had happened and Jen realized that he had started to turn tail as soon as she had said "we have a lab out back..." He thought we were a lesbian couple. I turned and yelled down the street, "Come back, I'm not gay!" He was long gone by this time of course. The times we live in!! Probably half an hour later we saw a woman dog-walker and I raised my voice asking, "have you seen a guy with a dog running from lesbians?" She was a distance away, so she just looked at me curiously unsure If I had been addressing her. Laughter flowed freely.
Later Patrick, Jen and I lay in their beautiful yard, laughing, as passers-by stared from car windows. We were evidently deranged for laying in the yard. I mean we all know the front yard is not to be enjoyed. Oh, no. You manicure it, look at it from the other side of windows, and use the cutting of it as a form of one-ups-man-ship between neighbors. Well, not today. Today we were giddy, young and happy. We ran through the sprinklers. We lay in the grass, got bit by ant and mosquito alike. We enjoyed the fruits of our sweat and sprinkling. We drank from the cup of friendship, passing the bread of conversation, all under the branches of a broken ash.