Batman!

I just saw my first in-cinema preview for The Dark Knight!! I got goosebumps.

I was with Nic and Krystal, we were seeing Get Smart. Which was actually pretty decent. I laughed long and hard a couple of times, and chuckled a dozen or so more.

http://thedarkknight.warnerbros.com/
Someone asked me once why Batman was my favorite male superhero, and my answer was the following.
a) He's just a guy. He doesn't have superpowers. He's just a guy who saw a need and filled it. And his reluctance and confliction over this choice is the essence of being human.
b) He's dark. We all have darkness within us. Its the distance and the hurdles we overcome to find our way into the light that's the beauty of humanity.

I know you say, this is Batman! Come on! But, seriously that's why I love comic book movies, the hero's are just men or women (ok sometimes with superpowers), and the battles are universal. We all fight against evil, either in ourselves or in our world; or we let it take over. Granted real life is not generally as black and white as heroes and villains, but the fight is real. You are either on one side or the other; in little decisions, in big decisions, all day long.

Tradition

It's tradition now, that everytime I stay with Nic and Krystal we make Pancakes. These are the homemade kind. They are Martha Stewart's Best Buttermilk Pancakes.
This visit they were kind enough to let me stay in their new apartment even though most of their belongings were still in Arkansas. In fact we cooked all week without the help of a zester, a mixer, a broom, a mallet (for tenderizing) or more than one cutting board. And it was great. We ate like kings all week!
I love when I stay with Nic and Krystal! This time was even more special for two reasons. One: Krystal is finished with residency and has yet to start at her new practice, so I got to see her all day, all the time! Two: They are in Texas!
Krystal and Nic are both laid back, which as a house guest is really relaxing to be around. Last year I nearly ruined their dining room table with nail polish remover and even though I did fix it, they were totally unfazed. I mean I'm a klutz, so when I visit others it sometimes hard not to break things. I was at my sisters and broke one of her bowls the second morning I was there. It's some kind of disorder I think.
So back to the pancakes. We are whipping up the batch when things start to hit the fan. We are making the cakes when I just got up (not early, but I did just get up.) Which any klutzy person will tell you is your peak time for mishaps, that or when you are really tired, or angry, or aren't a peak focus capability.
Anyhoo, the bag of sugar we need is right next to me on top of the refrigerator. So I grab it and drop the bag on the floor. And sugar spills everywhere! And Krystal and I just look at each other. I then say, "I really wish you had a broom." And Krystal breaks out into hysterics, and I do to, seeing as my left foot is almost buried in sugar and there is no broom in the house. Practical thinker that Dr. Castle is she and I take a couple of paper towels and wipe all the sugar to the other side of the kitchen. Nic has said he will go get a broom after breakfast. We continue to make the cakes. Krystal is breaking the last two eggs into a small bowl to whisk. The first is fine, but the second wreaks after she breaks it into the bowl. The egg is rotten! Foiled again. So that's it, we have to go to the store. We need a broom and eggs. Mid pancake construction we run to the store.
Eventually the pancakes are made and eaten with gusto. I did smoke up the apartment a little, but that's to be expected when working on stove tops you are not familiar with, right!? Still we had some great pancakes, great fellowship, and a lot of laughs! What a great tradition: Pancakes and Jeopardy with the Castle's.

Run away!

Today at Jeni's we were gardening in the front yard. As I was watering the newly planted zinnias a tall and attractive man asked me if his dog could have a drink from the water hose. Sure I said. He was cute, tall and we were talking about his ten month old golden- life was sweet. Jen came around the house and saw that we were both fumbling with the hose trying to get the golden to drink. The guy started a bit when he saw Jen, but was still nice. Then Jen said she'd run inside and get a bowl. When she came back out she said "we" (her and Patrick) have a lab out back and started talking about their dogs. He let the dog drink for a minute then started saying thanks and quickly pulling away. Jen and I looked at each other confusedly. He stood at the end of his dog's tether impatiently, not making eye contact like before. As soon as the pooch's thirst was slaked he turned and walked speedily away. I put my head down and started watering again wondering what I did to turn him off. Jen came back out and said that she was sorry that she had come around and scared him off. Why would Jen scare him off I thought? I mean little Jen, scare off my big good looking dog walker, come on. We reviewed what had happened and Jen realized that he had started to turn tail as soon as she had said "we have a lab out back..." He thought we were a lesbian couple. I turned and yelled down the street, "Come back, I'm not gay!" He was long gone by this time of course. The times we live in!! Probably half an hour later we saw a woman dog-walker and I raised my voice asking, "have you seen a guy with a dog running from lesbians?" She was a distance away, so she just looked at me curiously unsure If I had been addressing her. Laughter flowed freely.
Later Patrick, Jen and I lay in their beautiful yard, laughing, as passers-by stared from car windows. We were evidently deranged for laying in the yard. I mean we all know the front yard is not to be enjoyed. Oh, no. You manicure it, look at it from the other side of windows, and use the cutting of it as a form of one-ups-man-ship between neighbors. Well, not today. Today we were giddy, young and happy. We ran through the sprinklers. We lay in the grass, got bit by ant and mosquito alike. We enjoyed the fruits of our sweat and sprinkling. We drank from the cup of friendship, passing the bread of conversation, all under the branches of a broken ash.

Girlfriends!

Kristy, Jeni and I were together again! I can't describe the vastness of what was spoken or put to paper the depth of the words, but I can tell you it was beautiful. We were girls and we were women. We didn't have to explain where we had come from or justify our emotions. We didn't have to establish who we are and what our hearts look like. We laughed at old jokes and new ones. We were three girls who have become women, and who will always be girlfriends.

God blessed each of us with each other. Each of us so different yet so masterfully placed together, giving us the courage to love and trust one another. I am so proud to be counted in the lives of these beautiful women.

Done

I'm done waiting. I'm done making calls and hoping that I'll get a call back. I am done allowing myself to be hurt or feel lesser.
I thought it would hurt to take this step. It seems that my pride, not my heart, has taken the biggest kicking. I thank God that he has allowed me to take this step, and that he allowed the hurt to subside. I don't even miss it. I feel a little drained and vulnerable, but not pained. I stood up for me, and the little barbs to my heart have stopped.

Angry Church

I went to a church this Summer and was very turned off. Usually I can find a little perspective in a sermon, even one I don't fundamentally agree with, that allows me to learn something about God. I realized after the first few minutes that the beliefs of this congregation were much more fundamental than mine. So most of what occurred, I was ready to deal with. I mean when you put Jesus and the bible on the same rung of the Trinity, I kind of know what's coming next. You know?
So, the passage was in Genesis. A hard one two, so I had empathy for the pastor. He went on to give several perspectives on the interpretation (slightly boring), but at least showing he was well-prepared. I talked myself out of being irritated when the interpretation he aligned himself with painted women as basically evil, pleasure seekers without a way to say no to temptation (i.e. sex with angelic men). Either that mind you, or the women were demon-possessed, without the ability to make decisions for themselves etc.
I grimly tolerated the underlying perspective "us (the Christians) against them (the World)". Christians looking down on the lost. How quickly we forget. We too are lost and found through a work that is not our own doing. I mean, hello! We're saved... through Christ!! They're lost, what more can be said, do you want them to act like they're found or something? What have you been smokin'? We are not better, we are in relationship with God. Anyway, I thought I had myself in hand. (I was perhaps mistaken in re-reading above paragraph.)

The pastor was trying to drive home the idea that in all generations are evil-doers who do not honor God. Good to know. In one of the illustrations he used Kathy Griffin as an example.

Then all hell broke loose... quietly, inside my own head!
First of all, I wasn't one of the many Christians who got hot under the collar when she made her Emmy speech. I actually didn't care that much. I felt sad for her. One comedienne not giving credit to God for her award isn't going to shatter my faith, nor will it challenge the enormity and omnipotence of God.
Secondly, while I didn't find her funny, she is a comedienne. Right? So may hap this was a very in your face attempt at humor. Or maybe she was trying to raise the hackles or the right wing public? Whatever the reason, surely one person not giving God credit on TV is about the same as other actors, athletes and people thanking God for their awards, while not allowing him to reign in their lives.
I do understand however, that if you feel that God really is offended by Kathy, then it is your job to defend God... wait, sorry I had to take a break so I could stop laughing. I mean come on us defend God!
Anyhoo, back to the sermon.
When discussing this whole debacle, the pastor says that if he were God he would send down a lightening bolt to rip that young women in half. I still get queasy just thinking about it. So in his view misrepresenting God is worthy of death. Hmmm. And not just falling down dead, but lightening bolt rending the body in two dead. What the hell?
My church background is a little different than most people. I grew up believing that sinner and human are interchangeable nouns. That God loves us all and it's in that love he disciplines, communes and meets us where we are. I mean did or did not God send his Son to die for us all, sinners? SINNERS!! That means you, me, the person next to you. Why the judgement, why the hate? She didn't threaten my relationship with the creator, who does? I just didn't get it. If she sinned in not giving God the glory, then surely the pastor sinned in wishing that woman dead? So can you see the logic, someone help me here! I don't know... as you can see I'm still having trouble letting this go.
And around the time alarms were going off in my head and my stomach was hoping I'd get up and leave, I realized my friends had stopped paying attention. How could you sit there and not be at least a little piqued by the weirdness? Maybe I'd just had enough and this one thing finally sunk me, who knows? I entertained the thought of leaving. But how would I explain my actions to my friends without offending their church and pastor, whom they truly liked. Instead when the service was over, I stormed out ahead of them walking over flowerbeds, squelching tears of anger and trying to get a handle on my (ha, ha) righteous furry.
Who knows? Maybe we all want to send lightening bolts down from heaven?
Thank God, we're not God.

Water Babies

Today Kris, Dave and I went to their community pool. We all swam. I had forgotten what a great workout swimming is. Amazingly Dave did 45 laps, thats like 3 miles!! Kristy, in her expectant state, did 15! And I my friends did 5. Not bad for no swimming in the last couple of years. I alternated between using arms only or legs only most of the time, but hey I did complete the laps. Afterwards I did my favorite in water activity, floating.

Floating is usually the first thing a child learns. I've always thought it such a beautiful activity. You are almost weightless, skimming the surface of the water. You slow and control your breathing and then let go. Its a very contemplative practice.

A sidenote, really pregnant women don't float well. No lie, I mean normal thinking would be that the baby would help you float, but it didn't. Crazy right!