Thursday, September 28, 2006

Being

"Fear not for the future, weep not for the past." ~
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Right now I am just being. I go jogging with Rollo and mom. I weed the front yard (more like a big flower bed). Eventually I'll replace some of the tiles in the bathroom. I do laundry and buy groceries. I help my mom out with some of her lesson plans. Keep the house clean and cook a few times a week. I play fetch, and wrestle with Rollo. This weekend we're sanding and staining the entry way steps, and retiling the landing. I help out where needed. There isn't a real time crunch about much but my days fill up. I'm not up to a whole lot and I have to say it's nice. I start more hardcore classes next semester and yet I don't feel pressured. Maybe it's knowing that the road ahead is just that ahead. I've decided to stop looking back and wishing I had done things differently, done school differently. I am thankful for the path that brought me here, and I look forward to what lies ahead.

La vie en vie, et aimer.
Live life, and love.

Friday, September 8, 2006

Fear

Change can leave you afraid. I don't know what I fear, the unknown? Failure? But I have been afraid these last days. Afraid to take that next step. To commit to the future. I have been praying... but still afraid.
But, somehow, today I am not afraid. There have been hard times in my life, as in everyone's. But in all honesty I haven't ever had to sustain determination for any real length of time. I've rarely had to invest and not be sure of the dividends. I haven't tried that hard. Here in front of me is a goal. The goal, I know it. And it looks to take a substantial amount of time, mostly uphill and mostly difficult. I will be 32 when I finish PT school. It feels like I am starting over again.
Fear espouses doubt and this sense of never...
Never finishing, never really being able, never being, never, never. Fear is the enemy of gratitude. It is the enemy of hope, it is the enemy of productive individuals everywhere.
SO, Let's rise up! There will be no fear today, there will be appreciation of those who support us, there will be accomplishment, there will be an embarking. Steps will be taken TODAY! Hope came home today! And fear has run the other way!

Hope came home
Home to me today
And fear has run the other way
And words are weak
You don't know how to say
You know I still believe in you
And should my dreams fall through

I will be safe with you
And with every breath I can breathe
I'll sing about how you love me
I'll sing about how you love me

Gotta love BEBO!!